We signed the adoption papers today and picked them up. One’s a darling boy and a precious little girl. We are excited to have them as part of our family. Unfortunately Smokey the cat isn’t real thrilled about the new additions. The jealousy has been oozing from him, since we got them. It may take a couple of months for him to adjust, but eventually I think he will. If not, it’s off to the kitty doctor for some kitty tranquilizers. He is already quite high-strung, so that wouldn’t be such a bad idea anyway.

Here is a photo of our new babies. The black kitten is the girl, and Tayler named her Bella. The grey big one, Bella’s brother, and the biggest one in the liter, is none other than Mr. Big. Most likely to become plain ol’ Big with time.

In some other good news, Paul’s last two radiation treatments are tomorrow! He has one at 6:00 AM and then again at 5:30 PM. His energy levels have made it harder this week. But he has perservered, never swaying in his hours at work. In celebration, we’re dropping the new babies off with a friend for the week. Rachel has generously agreed to check on Smokey a couple of times while we are away. And then, Paul and I are taking off for the San Diego Beaches for the week!

It couldn’t come at a better time! A week of laying on the Beach, catching up on reading, and nothing more stressful than where we’re going to eat. As the kids are off in Washington at Bible camp, this was the perfect opportunity to sneek away, just the two of us! He doesn’t know it yet, but I plan on (gently) jumping his bones as soon as I get his butt in that hotel room! Ssshhhh. It’s a secret. So when you’re done vomiting at the thought of middle-aged sex, keep it a secret. And don’t worry, I plan on doing most of the work!

So to friends one and all, I wish you a wonderful weekend and upcoming week as well. I will be taking my copy of Moose by Stephanie Klein, and finishing it on the beach. I love her writing, and if I didn’t spend half the time I do on this computer, I would have finished it by now. Paul picked up three mystery, crime, killing crap books to read too. (I’m joking. About the books being crap) Sorry. My humor is so dry, it doesn’t qualify as humor. I’m OK with that!

INSURANCE RANT
I do have to say, I don’t know how most people afford these treatments! Even with insurance, the price is outrageous, and it will take us more than a couple of months of playing the catch-up game, thanks to this treatment. Seems like adding insult to injury to me. First, they tell you that you have cancer. Then they tell you that taking out the prostate surgically will be the best shot at getting rid of it. Then, TA-DA! Nope, you still have cancer, and need radiation treatments for a couple of months. Every day of the week, except weekends. At close to $100 a treatment. That’s just what we owe them! Not including what the insurance covers. The insurance of course, mid treatments decides that this is not therapy but diagnostic. Why? Because it is a form of X-ray. (They pay less that way) Having worked in a hospital for a decade, and talking to a few people in medical insurance claims and medical staff, not one could believe the stretch they’re pulling on this one! I really can’t understand how healthcare has become so out of reach in price, and the insurance companies get to decide what they will or won’t pay. I don’t usuually talk about money on my blog, but the injustice in this system that is America’s healthcare is jaw dropping. My prayers go out to some friends that are dealing with this right now, as well as anyone who has the misfortune to get cancer, or sick in this country. I honestly have never been more shocked. And trust me I’ve seen some shocking things in my time. Partcipated in a few while I was at it.

Ok, I’ll quit whining.If I allow myself to feel the anger and rage at both the healthcare system and the insurance companies that try their best to rule them....I can’t. But on that note, may I say, that having a healthcare provider insinuate that they will possibly stop treatment, if we didn’t pay the huge gap between what the insurance decided to pay and what they were led to believe was paid for treatments; that brought me to my truly jaded attitude. We were making hefty payments as it was. Every. single. day. It really breaks my heart to think of what happens if God forbid you’re without insurance, or just barely make enough to pay the bills.

OK, I’m done babbling for now. The computer withdrawals should be over by the time we hit San Diego tomorrow night. But just in case, I am smuggling my laptop with me. Another secret.

Love,

3T

I haven’t posted in ages, and felt the urge to write, so here I am.
Paul
Paul starts his 4th week of radiation therapy for the prostate cancer, and so far the side effects have been minimal. For those praying, please keep it up. I feel, and he feels, that prayers are carrying him. He’s still putting in as many hours as ever at work; this has not slowed him down externally. (Thank you, God!)

Riley
My just-graduated-from-6th-grade, 5’10”, shaving 12-year-old has started having dreams, in Instant Messaging text. Should I be concerned? Knock him off of that damn X-Box Live more often? He told me he woke up from a dream where he became the god of the cucumbers after he fought a big giant JK (which he informs me means “just kidding” in text messaging. Yes I knew this, but I didn’t want to interrupt his train of thought, as he layed out his “cool dream” for me.). The JK flashed before him and he accepted the challenge. He defeated the JK, which left him as the god of cucumbers. I’m summing up a dream he spent 20 minutes telling me about. Oh, and now, he’s thinking of writing a book about it. Hey, if it gets Riley practicing his writing, I’m not particular of the topic he chooses.

Tayler
The kids have finished up the school year with Tayler being accepted into advanced classes in Literature and Social Studies. She has a summer reading list, and the first book she chose was Whuthering Heights. We picked up two copies, and I’m going to read it with her, and have discussions about what we read each day.

Summer
We are putting both Tayler and Riley on a plane alone for the first time EVER. They want to go to Bible Camp with their cousins in Washington State, and have wanted this since we moved to Arizona. I’m more than a little neurotically concerned. But the desire to do this has been there for years, and I have kept putting them off. The “you’re too young” excuse is gone, and unless I can come up with a feasible reason not to.....

Paul is going to take a week off while they are away, and just plan an Arizona road trip for us to see more of this glorious desert state. This will be a relaxing trip for the two of us, and a chance to capture moments and nature on my camera.

Robby & Cheryl
The newlyweds have settled into their love nest in Gilbert. They have Tayler and Riley over practically one night every other weekend. The kids love their new sister-in-law, and she is awesome with them! Cheryl I know is the woman that Tayler looks up to. Or sees as someone whom she would like to emulate. Ten years ago, that might have bothered me; but I’m Mom, that’s my role. (And frankly, the least she’s like me, the better off her future will be, considering my many mistakes of youth.) Cheryl is beautiful, kind hearted, smart and got that damn college degree. My biggest regret and the one thing I want for my kids is the best start in life they can get. That degree is that start in my mind, and the end of my job as solely a parent. I have a tough time with wanting to relate to them as friends, and realizing I have to be a parent first. Tayler makes it tougher, because of just how responsible, confident and smart she is. I run the risk of allowing her to take on more than her age, no matter how smart she is, can handle.

Me
I’m in a funk. I don’t know if it’s because everything we did for months was building up to the kids’ wedding, and the family that came down from Washington, or...??? I’m so ruled by my emotions and lately I have felt a little emotionless. Just day-to-day living, possibly a little holding of the breath, until we knew how radiation was going to affect Paul.

My “rugrats,” as I affectionately referred to them for so long, are not rugrats any more. They are teenagers (or close to it) and becoming more self-sufficient by the day.

My husband works long hours in his job, and as our “Season” has ended here, we don’t have much going on that we have to attend. I don’t feel like I’m working towards anything right now. I feel a little lost, and not needed. I know that isn’t necessarily true; but as a beloved author once said, “feelings don’t know right from wrong, they just are.”

Right now we’re in a holding pattern until Paul’s radiation therapy is over. So without school activities to run back and forth to, no “work events” to attend and we’re not planning any big vacations this year, I’m not looking towards anything. I find myself antsy and my attention span short.

On top of this, Riley just popped his head into the computer room and asked me what my goals in life were. Ummm, hmmm. I stared at him blankly, and then he provided me with an out by saying, “you want to be a photographer don’t you?” OK? Yes! That’s it. I figure he will have intellectually passed me up by the end of Jr. High, if not sooner. I’d like to say that was a joke, but…

I’m hoping this latest emotionless-phase comes to an end soon. As well as this antsy, can’t sit still and concentrate phase.

I’m off to find out why my son, who doesn’t normally have any questions for me beyond what’s for dinner, asked me that out-of-no-where question.

Love,

3T

I think we could all use a little self- pep-talk in the mirror on occasion. If you can love yourself, you can love others. This is totally adorable, OK, and it made me laugh some as well. Stephanie Klein will be coming out with her new book, very, very soon! Titled Moose: Memoir of Fat Camp after reading Straight up and Dirty I’ve already oredered my copy through Amazon.

This was my first time trying to get a video up without the help of my tech-savy daughter. So it may or may not work. Finger’s crossed.

Love,
3T

Sh*t! And here I thought I had cleaned up my potty mouth. At least I started putting that cute little * in place of a letter in the cuss word. Taking into consideration that one of my categories IS a cuss word, I guess it could be worse. I urge all my friends to try this! Please! One of you has to have a higher score than me.

I lifted this off of my good friend Allen’s blog. Of course I’m wishing that I’d left well enough alone. You can take the girl out of redneck country, butcha can’t take the redneck out of the girl! (Please remember that the definition of “redneck” for me is probably far different than your version. Or any official one. I make the rules here)

Created by OnePlusYou

Love,

3T (and her filthy potty-mouth)

Happy Birthday. We love you tons!!!

Rachel and 3T!

Radiation therapy that is. This is me letting loose with pent-up frustration, for my own benefit. In other words this is the warning that if you don’t want to read negative, neurotic ranting, this is where you should X out in the upper right hand corner!

We went to the oncologist, and then Paul saw the radiation oncologist today. Unfortunately, even with a clean bone scan and abdominal MRI that showed no signs of cancer; due to the high spikes in his PSA, it is being strongly recommended that he start radiation therapy immediately. Long story short, a spike in PSA readings out of no where is a strong indication that the cancer cells are somewhere in his body. Both (new) doctors feel that most likely it is in the area where the prostate sat prior to removal. And the sense of urgency is to nail them NOW, there; before they have a chance to spread.

After all that my husband’s body has been through with this cancer; I’m angry! Pissed off and frustrated. I understand there are those who are far less fortunate than he is, as far as cancer goes. It doesn’t stop the frustration, fear and total sense of childish “this isn’t fair” mentality that is gripping my emotions. And yes I know life isn’t fair. So please pleaseplease no comments of philosophical wisdom. This is my diary to rant, rave and stomp my feet like a spoiled child! It is also how I get things out of me, so that what needs to be done, can be done, minus all the emotional bullsh*t! If I could take this on myself, and have it spare him, I would. Besides, I make a far better martyr than he does. (Bad attempt at a morbid joke)

So this is middle-age. One medical problem after another. I’m sorry, I don’t know how many times I’ve heard that middle-age are our best years. So far I’m not finding this party to be all “they” said it would be! And who the Hell is “they?” I’d truly like to kick the sh*t out of them at the moment!

I know I’ll get myself together, break out the spinach and the rest of the immune system booster foods, and do what I can for his discomfort. But right now, I just feel like curling up and hiding from the world. And reality. Oh, and cry like a baby for a few hours.

I know that we are blessed in many ways. I just don’t feel like counting them. Maybe tomorrow.

He’s a Cold-Blooded Snake

I have submitted one of my photos to JPGMagazine and would love for my friends to comment and/or vote for it; if you like it. If you take the time out to go and comment and vote, I’ll owe you one! At the very least, your blog will be my first read (and comment) of the morning!

Originally uploaded to my Flickr account, this seemed an appropriate entry.

Let me know when you’ve commented and voted, here in my blog’s comments; so I can be a much more consistent reader for you!

JPG Magazine Submission

Thank you!
Love,
3T