I want to tell you, that in some ways you have been closer to me, then ANY human being in my life. I played with you at first. Flirted some, and then just as quickly dropped you. Off and on for a couple of years I kept coming back for more.

You were there when I started dating my first husband. You were there after each torturous beating. Always faithful to me, always comforting. You never left my side, when I went thru that first painful divorce. When I felt my most alone, you cigs. were always there.

I sent you away, whenever I was expecting a new addition to the family. But I always let you come back. And I clung to you after divorce number two. But didn’t really, or couldn’t let you go when I married hubby 3. He was fun! You were part of the fun! There after every delicous meal. Calling my name after lusty bed aerobics. The perfect accompaniment with wine, champagne or a Cosmopolitan.

When I was hungry, angry, lonely or tired. There you were. You never abandoned me. As long as I had the money, you have always been there. No questions asked. Didn’t matter who was my husband, what child I was diapering, what job I was laboring at.  You were the one I never forgot, no matter where I went. I have for some years now, in many ways, put you above absolutely EVERYONE in my life! And now, I have to tell you good-bye.

For all outward appearances, you were everything I listed to this point. But beneath the surface, were your sinister motives. And they list as plentiful as your attributes.

For starters, just beneath the surface, I have allowed you to rob me blind! Your price, for my addiction to you, kept rising higher and higher, with each passing decade, you blatantly robbed me, while I willingly handed all that money over to you! The dollar amount, I couldn’t even begin to calculate. Suffice it to say, that had I not given it willingly, it would have rated a felony.

Next, my energy. The more I used you, thru each and every task, the more of my energy you’ve stolen! You have zapped my strength! And more preciously, my time! Time that could be spent playing with my children, was spent on the patio, puffing away on you! I put you before the children I gave life to!

The bronchitus, that would inevitably set in after any virus, I attribute to your doing. The adult onset asthma that I now battle, and need an inhaler for, can also be attributed in part to you. The stink that permeates my hair, fingers, clothing and breath, all find their roots in you.

Cigs. you must go now, and never return! I cannot allow you in my life, and my lungs any longer. I know it’s going to be hard and painful ridding myself of you! So ingrained in every little area of my life! I can’t have you anymore! 

In order to succeed in turning my back on you, I have to brainwash my mind, into hating you! Into seeing what you truly are beneath the surface!! I can have no tolerance for you what so ever. I have to become, who in the past I have rolled my eyes at! The reformed smoker! The dreaded enemy of smokers everywhere! That will be me, for some time to come. I don’t have a choice. To continue my dalliance with you, will literally steal my oxygen away. I WILL HATE YOU CIGS!

And to do this Cigs. I will have to literally take it one activity at a time! Consciously fighting the urge to turn to you, thru the simplest of tasks. And always, ALWAYS keeping in mind, Hungry Angry Lonely and Tired. The four basic STRONG needs that would always have me lighting up. I will now take the H from Hungry. The A from Angry. The L from Lonely and the T from Tired, and keep it close to my heart and mind.

When the urge from you hits, I will think of HALT, and realize which one of these is pushing me towards you. Am I hungry? EAT 3T Am I angry? Rant and rage in my blog! Am I lonely? CALL JADE, from Jaded Sunburns, who is also kicking your sorry ass to the curb now!! Am I tired? Take a nap 3T! Go to bed at a decent hour.

I realize I will still be obsessed with you for a little while longer. In order to do away with you, I have to be on my guard. And replace you, with healthy activity, and human contact. And remember all the many benefits, that ridding you from my life will reap.

More money! = More vacations!  More energy=playing with my kids=better health
No more going outside of the resturaunt, to stand with the other smokers, while non smokers saunter by, glaring at us as if we had just taken a shit on the curb! I will regain my oxygen, allowing me the ability to take up jogging again. My clothes, hair, fingers and breath will no longer smell of stale smoke. My lungs will start their regeneration. (There is no emphysema yet! I checked) So many, many benefits to giving you up Cigs.

So now I begin my growing hatred of you. (To all my smoker friends, I still love you!)
Cigs. you suck ass! You’re a dirty, smelly SOB! And I want you outta my life for good!!!!

Sincerely,
3T