3T, all of us with an x have felt the same way and have run into the same category if crap that you described here. No apologies or explanations necessary. I hope things get better this season for you. It does seem to be lined with land mines, doesn’t it?
It’s astounduing that you actually do get together for these things. I shamefully,, always avoided them rather than put my kids through any kind of ugliness. There were the inevitable unavoidable get togethers of course, where I was on my best behavior but you know it ain’t easy, as the song goes. These things pop up still from time to time. I get better at it. My kinds are thankful that I avoid being an asshole. I have some new music for you to hear. Stop by and you will find a link to my entire CD. I hope you like it. It’s way better than the last. Take care
Thank you so much Bud, for the validation! Sometimes I think, when things are not going as well as they could be; it’s nice to know you’re not alone.
Admittedly, there are times when these situations run completely smooth. But then there are times like a couple of nights ago. I think the fact that I want so much for the Holidays to be nothing but full of warm fuzzy good feelings for my kids; that I put far too much pressure on myself. Of course the X knows that I won’t behave improperly in public, which is his opportunity to stampede over my wishes, and get away with it.
I’ll be heading over your place today, my friend! Looking forward to hearig your latest album!
I’m so glad you’re posting again—I need to add you back to my blogroll (I wasn’t sure if you were quitting on us!).
You’re right in that the holidays do seem to bring out the extreme emotions, for the good and the bad. I give you a lot of credit for even trying to be in the same room with your Ex for your kids’ events—my parents would not do the same and it’s still very taxing upon us to have to deal with.
As I was reading your story, I was also thinking “I bet he wouldn’t have pulled that shit if her husband was there” and then you said the same thing. I think any of us would’ve been frustrated in your situation—your Ex should leave your stuff alone!
1. Yes it sucks that the camera fiasco happened, and I don’t think you are totally off with your assessment of passive aggressiveness on the side of the x (that’s the only socially acceptable retaliation right? Because he’s not “really” doing it.) But....I think when you pointed out the connection with your son that was made, that is key. I’ll bet you good money that years from now, if he remembers little else from that evening, you will hear this story again.
2. By nature, X’s do that to us. Our only frame of reference where they are concerned is “back then”. When we were not as evolved and mature and insightful as we are now:) But instead simply as f_%^ed up as we were then! By default we revert, it’s human nature. I love my ex dearly, but when I’m around him for more than an hour or so, I completely do not recognize 9nor like) who I become. Strange, but humbling just the same.
3. Bottom line? It was still a night for Riley, and it sounds like, despite the background drama, it turned out perfectly for him. And I’m sure for a mother of a pre teen, that’s no small feet!
Congratulations to Riley. I remember my Gary going through DARE graduation. Hmmmm, the memories.
You are a bigger person than I lady. You have risen above a lot to put your kids first and you are commended.
The holidays are hard. Honey and I have decided to pretend Christmas will be much more fun laying on the beach in Hawaii this year. Not decorating the house has been a little hard to swallow.
Hang tough lady and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a very Happy New Year!!
3T, all of us with an x have felt the same way and have run into the same category if crap that you described here. No apologies or explanations necessary. I hope things get better this season for you. It does seem to be lined with land mines, doesn’t it?
It’s astounduing that you actually do get together for these things. I shamefully,, always avoided them rather than put my kids through any kind of ugliness. There were the inevitable unavoidable get togethers of course, where I was on my best behavior but you know it ain’t easy, as the song goes. These things pop up still from time to time. I get better at it. My kinds are thankful that I avoid being an asshole. I have some new music for you to hear. Stop by and you will find a link to my entire CD. I hope you like it. It’s way better than the last. Take care
Thank you so much Bud, for the validation! Sometimes I think, when things are not going as well as they could be; it’s nice to know you’re not alone.
Admittedly, there are times when these situations run completely smooth. But then there are times like a couple of nights ago. I think the fact that I want so much for the Holidays to be nothing but full of warm fuzzy good feelings for my kids; that I put far too much pressure on myself. Of course the X knows that I won’t behave improperly in public, which is his opportunity to stampede over my wishes, and get away with it.
I’ll be heading over your place today, my friend! Looking forward to hearig your latest album!
Much love, to you and yours.
3T
I’m so glad you’re posting again—I need to add you back to my blogroll (I wasn’t sure if you were quitting on us!).
You’re right in that the holidays do seem to bring out the extreme emotions, for the good and the bad. I give you a lot of credit for even trying to be in the same room with your Ex for your kids’ events—my parents would not do the same and it’s still very taxing upon us to have to deal with.
As I was reading your story, I was also thinking “I bet he wouldn’t have pulled that shit if her husband was there” and then you said the same thing. I think any of us would’ve been frustrated in your situation—your Ex should leave your stuff alone!
A couple things that I thought stood out.
1. Yes it sucks that the camera fiasco happened, and I don’t think you are totally off with your assessment of passive aggressiveness on the side of the x (that’s the only socially acceptable retaliation right? Because he’s not “really” doing it.) But....I think when you pointed out the connection with your son that was made, that is key. I’ll bet you good money that years from now, if he remembers little else from that evening, you will hear this story again.
2. By nature, X’s do that to us. Our only frame of reference where they are concerned is “back then”. When we were not as evolved and mature and insightful as we are now:) But instead simply as f_%^ed up as we were then! By default we revert, it’s human nature. I love my ex dearly, but when I’m around him for more than an hour or so, I completely do not recognize 9nor like) who I become. Strange, but humbling just the same.
3. Bottom line? It was still a night for Riley, and it sounds like, despite the background drama, it turned out perfectly for him. And I’m sure for a mother of a pre teen, that’s no small feet!
Congratulations to both you and Riley on that!
Congratulations to Riley. I remember my Gary going through DARE graduation. Hmmmm, the memories.
You are a bigger person than I lady. You have risen above a lot to put your kids first and you are commended.
The holidays are hard. Honey and I have decided to pretend Christmas will be much more fun laying on the beach in Hawaii this year. Not decorating the house has been a little hard to swallow.
Hang tough lady and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a very Happy New Year!!