Stumbling Through Life With Grace

Questions to Ask yourself / Domestic Violence

If you’re in an abusive relationship, and need or want to talk to someone, please call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-799-SAFE. The necessary help is available, you cannot afford to wait!

If you didn’t catch my previous post, read this powerful story of a courageous woman, her experience in an abusive relationship and how she got out!

A Faux Fairytale by Bitchatude

An excerpt from my story

Since 1984 I have been acutely aware of the month of October, as that of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The more that it is out in the open, the more likely that vicitims will make that crucial first phone call, to get out, and be safe!

Your inner feelings and dialogue: Fear, self-loathing, numbness, desperation

--Are you fearful of your partner a large percentage of the time?
--Do you avoid certain topics or spend a lot of time figuring out how to talk about certain topics so that you do not arouse your partners negative reaction or anger?
--Do you ever feel that you cant do anything right for your partner?
--Do you ever feel so badly about yourself that you think you deserve to be physically hurt?
--Have you lost the love and respect that you once had for your partner?
--Do you sometimes wonder if you are the one who is crazy, that maybe you are overreacting to your partners behaviors?
--Do you sometimes fantasize about ways to kill your partner to get them out of your life?
--Are you afraid that your partner may try to kill you?
--Are you afraid that your partner will try to take your children away from you?
--Do you feel that there is nowhere to turn for help?
--Are you feeling emotionally numb?
--Were you abused as a child, or did you grow up with domestic violence in the household?
-- Does domestic violence seem normal to you?

Your partners lack of control over their own behavior

--Does your partner have low self-esteem?
--Do they appear to feel powerless, ineffective, or inadequate in the world, although they are outwardly successful?
--Does your partner externalize the causes of their own behavior?
-- Do they blame their violence on stress, alcohol, or a bad day?
--Is your partner unpredictable?
--Is your partner a pleasant person between bouts of violence?

Your partners violent or threatening behavior

--Does your partner have a bad temper?
--Has your partner ever threatened to hurt you or kill you?
--Has your partner ever physically hurt you?
--Has your partner threatened to take your children away from you, especially if you try to leave the relationship?
--Has your partner ever threatened to commit suicide, especially as a way of keeping you from leaving?
--Has your partner ever forced you to have sex when you didnt want to?
--Has your partner threatened you at work, either in person or on the phone?
--Is your partner cruel to animals?
--Does your partner destroy your belongings or household objects?

Your partners controlling behavior

--Does your partner try to keep you from seeing your friends or family?
--Are you embarrassed to invite friends or family over to your house because of your partners behavior?
--Has your partner limited your access to money, the telephone, or the car?
--Does your partner try to stop you from going where you want to go outside of the house, or from doing what you want to do?
--Is your partner jealous and possessive, asking where you are going and where you have been, as if checking up on you?
--Do they accuse you of having an affair?

Your partners diminishment of you

--Does your partner verbally abuse you?
--Does your partner humiliate or criticize you in front of others?
--Does your partner often ignore you or put down your opinions or contributions?
--Does your partner always insist that they are right, even when they are clearly wrong?
--Does your partner blame you for their own violent behavior, saying that your behavior or attitudes cause them to be violent?
--Is your partner often outwardly angry with you?
--Does your partner objectify and disrespect women?
--Does your partner see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

All information was taken specificall from Helpguide. Contributers to the Helpguide Abuse page were Tina de Benedictis, Ph.D., Jaelline Jaffe, Ph.D., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

Don’t turn a blind eye to this information. Call NOW. Yours and possibly your childrens lives depend upon you getting the help you need to get away from the violence!

1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-799-SAFE

Close it Up

3T (3rd Times a Charm)
Thursday • 10.13.2005 • 11:23 AM • (News)
(8) comment • (0) pings • Permalink

Page 1 of 1 pages