For Kevin and I it was a rocky road. Skeletons made their way out of our closets, interrupting and shattering any unrealistic expectations and perceptions. Ugly truths stood naked before us almost stunning us into opposite directions. Most of the time, I don’t like looking back at Year 2. Finding each other in mid-life led to the revelation of an array of ugly skeletons. Some of those ugly skeletons actually wore proper names. Being cynical and hard, on both of our parts, revealed a rather shaky belief in any such thing as “Happily Ever Afters”. Nights that were spent making love in Year-1 are spent verbally beating each other with our pasts. Fighting against, all the while hoping for, an “Us” to work its way thru the fray.

To both our credit, even thru Year-2 we were always able to leave the serious and hard work of fighting for an “us”, to take a break and have some fun. One of the promises we made each other during Fairytale Year (Year-1) was that we would, at the very least, break away from life and go away somewhere to just play, every 3 to 4 months.

After 4 years together, we have kept that promise. I’d like to say it was due to some deep insight into relationships, a commitment to the work of “us.” But if truth be told that would be bullshit. We do have the commitment to “us,” to growing together. But our promise to one another has more to do with the shallow side of “us.”

We love to play. Enjoying breaking out and away from reality, indulging the children in ourselves. Reveling in our shallowness, even if for just a long week-end. Waking up to “Where shall we have breakfast?” as the deepest decision of the day. This to Kevin and I, is the icing on the cake of our relationship.

As we are counting down the last few days and minutes until we retreat from life, I can’t help but think that our shallow sides are just as important as all the brutally honest heart to hearts we make time for. Filling up our proverbial “love bank account” to sustain us until our next getaway. Sunday, Kevin and I are off for 5 nights in Laughlin Nevada, a chance to walk along the Colorado River, gamble a little bit, watch pay per view movies in our rented room. We are going to take a boat ride down the Colorado River to Lake Havisu, to sightsee at the London Bridge, have lunch and just play!  All activities done spontaneously at our whims. It is becoming our tradition to get away during my Birthday week, either to Las Vegas or Laughlin. My idea of the perfect Birthday, spent with my soulmate, just playing. I do believe than we have a rather large shallow side to us, that in my mind has become a necessity to marital bliss.

No matter what our problems have been over the years, we have always been able to put them aside to play. I recommend that every couple get away, as often as you can, being as creative as you can, to just play with the love of your heart. These moments away, will sustain you both as the realities of life take their toll on you as a couple. The memories of past excursions, and the anticipation of the next one, takes the edges off of the pressures of bills, jobs, kids and home repair. Making it easier to stay grounded on a firm foundation.

Indulging the shallow side will actually make it damn near impossible for anything to penetrate the bond of your relationship. Rediscovering the pure fun of each other away, nothing beats it in my book. We let no person, place or thing ever come between us and our shallow fun. Try it out, it becomes addictive.