Could you pick it up for me please? I think I might need at least one nerve for the next PMS/ everyone’s out to destroy Teri” weeks. I mean I am so depleted of emotion, energy or even the will to fight back. Fighting back meaning just trying to put order from chaos, and feel some sense of control over my world.

Nononono...we can’t have that. When did I allow so many different people to stomp all over and muddy up my world? My head is still spinning from yesterday. A day planned and constructed I’m sure at the very center of the pit of Hell. If EVER I wanted a cigarette, or 20, it was yesterday!

And never, ever, ever is it strangers that have that kind of power over us. Nononono, it is those we profess to love, or those we might have thought we loved at one time or another, or then again maybe a tad karmic retribution. Who the Hell knows. I know I don’t. 

What I do know damn it; is do not try and take over my home with your chaos, do not call me on the phone to play games that have nothing to do with me. You need props for your fucking marriage, find a new one! I will not be the dupe in the middle, having my emotions and heart ripped apart because your playing “who’s in control of this marriage. Or is it, I’ll get you bitch, for some past perceived hurt, that I’m sure I committed;(but come ON how long are you going
to hold a grudge from when I was three) but isn’t that called revenge? And didn’t YOUR God state, “Revenge is mine, sayeth the Lord?” Or was that only in my Bible?? Eh. either/or doesn’t really matter at this point. Suffice it to say, my already loathing of the telephone has grown leaps and bounds as of yesterday.

And as for the chaotic control I’ve allowed you X-man, those days are done! I have done anything possible to keep the peace, for the sake of the children, to the point that would raise most anyone’s eyebrows. You can no longer change plans half hour before you’re supposed to pick them up or drop them off. I have bent as far back as my herniated back will allow for; IT WILL NOT SNAP. Instead, YOU WILL.

I have allowed you visitation during MY WEEK with the kids because well, in your own words, I LOVE MY KIDS! I’m wondering where that self-sacrificing love was when you wanted to skip out on Tayler’s violin concert last night, so you could go coach a basket-ball team. Never mind it is your week with the kids, I took them overnight your week, because I didn’t want your fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants decisions to affect their sleep; when you drag them out of bed at 4:00 AM to just drop them back at my house so you could go-to-work the early shift. A shift you volunteered for, so you could coach basketball earlier. WAIT, what you said to me on the phone 15 minutes before you were supposed to BE HERE was for her violin concert. Tell me my petite X-man, was that a lie, or just a convenient oversight on your part? And then half hour before you pick them up the next day, you call to say, you’ll pick them up AFTER the concert. ALL of this could have been avoided. It’s called planning ahead, you know that thing I have always done for you.

Changes in scheduling, I give you literally months and months advance notice. WHY? Because WE PLAN OUR LIVES. We do not fly by the seat of our pants inconveniencing absolutely EVERYONE around us, and then giggle about it, like it’s cute! That may have flown when you were 18-19, but your 50 now little man. It’s time to grow the Hell up!

You spent 16 years of marriage obsessed with basketball. Our home literally turned upside-down at all times if you could get our son on a team to play out your fantasies of stardom. You infected our/MY first born with that obsession so much so, that he still has his eyes on playing basketball, and not what is important, his college education. Your daughter plays because she is intuitive and very aware of your obsession. And every little girl wants the adoration of Daddy. Even such a childish, moronic one as yourself. By the way, she’ll never be NBA either, dipshit.

This is my way of saying someone pass me a pill of Fuckitoll, cuz my world, home, plans and emotions are being reclaimed. IF, (and you know who you are) you think you will fuck with my plans, life, emotions, or anything else that is under my supervision, I suggest you think twice and pull back. This WILL BE your ONLY and LAST warning. My home is now my fortress. Fuck with it, and there will be consequences. Not a threat, no more warnings, just actions, that I guarantee will affect YOUR world.

With All my love,

3T

PS. Damn that felt good!